By Kay Koekemoer – Self Connections
Worrying about what other people think of you, can cause a lot of anxiety. Always wanting to please others and make them like you… Thinking that their thoughts about you matter, will dictate your every move and stop you from being yourself… From talking out openly and honestly. From saying things that need to be said.
After years of this type of conditioning, you’ll lose touch with yourself, of your own values and opinions, while you aim to please. But at what cost? Worrying about other people’s opinions of you will impact the way you think and feel about yourself… Your appearance and attitude. The feeling of not being good enough. Even if those close to you praise you, you’ll overlook them and feel that they are just telling you things you want to hear.
Connecting with your SELF
But, once you start the change, once you truly allow yourself to fully embrace the change on all levels of your being, and decide to connect with your ‘Self’, then all the worrying and self-doubt will stop. It’ll be a journey, as any type of change is. And it won’t be easy either. It will require courage, strength and willpower! Part of that change will require you to take a deep look within, at all the parts of you, to try and figure out the significance of worrying about what people think of you.
Your takeaway from this change will be shown to you as an understanding that, all of the worrying is actually a reflection of you, as you are the one having an opinion about them…
You are having an opinion about them having an opinion about you! When you compare yourself to them, you have an opinion about the way you look or act. When you need their approval, you don’t approve of yourself. It’s only by going inward that you’ll start searching for all the reasons as to why you don’t approve of yourself. It won’t be easy, as this sort of stuff rarely is, and you’ll need to take a good hard honest look at yourself. At your perfections and your imperfections. It’s about facing those demons within and steering over the troubled water. It will break you down, to tears. It will become an emotional rollercoaster whereby all you can do is hold on.
It has nothing to do with you
And then, one day, the sun will shine. It will start peaking through the clouds and you’ll be able to sense the hope and the love within. You’ll have to dig deep and uncover the layers. And finally, when the clouds do clear, the sun will shine brightly in all her glory, and you’ll realize that the change has become you. And that you are the creator of your own thoughts and emotions.
When your sun starts shining fully, you’ll realize that what other people think of you has absolutely nothing to do with you. You’ll understand that everyone has the right to their own opinion and that you’re okay with that.
You’ll live your life with authenticity, love and honesty towards yourself. And if anyone has anything they don’t like about you, then that is their business, as life is only reflecting back to them what they need to face within.
When this all changes, your anxiety will too! You’ll no longer live as the perfectionist version dictated by other people’s thoughts of you. You’ll live life maximizing every opportunity that comes your way, as you’ll no longer be holding back.
You’ll make more friends along the way and you’ll appreciate the old ones. Without your old way of thinking, you’ll no longer be standing in your own way, as, the biggest lesson you’ll learn out of all this is that, other people’s thoughts of you aren’t even their real thoughts of you but rather that they are your own, as you have no way at all of knowing what anyone else is thinking!
All change comes with a first step. And that is the commitment needed to make that change, to have the intention to change and to understand that it is a journey and not an overnight fix. Are you ready to take that first step?