Mothering and allowing our emotions – feeling safe to let them go – the element of water
Self-care series: The Circle of Self Nurturing & Self Care | Mental Self Nurturing and Self Care | Relational self-nurturing and self-care | Physical self-nurturing and self-care | Spiritual self-nurturing and self-care
Take a moment with yourself
Close your eyes and feel deep into your core. Into space where your emotions are held. This is your treasure chest of feelings, past and present. Take some time there. Allow yourself to be with this part of you.
Our emotions are precious and real. They are our teachers, mentors and guides as in how we respond to life and the many experiences we have day after day. They are connected with our stories from our past and from our family and ancestors. The best way to understand and honour our feelings, is to allow them their space to be there and tell us what they need.
When we don’t take care of these feelings and give them their space, they can become overwhelming. They spill over into many aspects of our life. This can cause us and those around us immense pain and create chaos in many different ways. This does not add value to our wellbeing and is counter to our nurturing self-care.
Our emotions are the most vital and powerful force in our lives
They trigger our feelings and create thoughts that play a powerful role in our behaviour and how we experience and interact in the world. Our emotional self-nurturing and self-care is taking care of these feelings. Allowing them their place to be recognized, acknowledged and affirmed. As a mother takes loving care of her child, taking care of our feelings in a nurturing way allows them space to be there. Space to be contained. When we take the time to ‘mother’ and care for our feelings, and not let them get out of hand or cause us pain, we create space for managing life in a more balanced way.
The element of water is associated with emotions. Water is often envisioned as feminine in its nature. It has reflective qualities, like a mirror, helping us to see our true nature and our true self. Water has the same mother qualities that we need to take care of and nurture our emotional body. We relate to water as a metaphor for good and for soothing and also as a powerful elemental teacher.
As I write this blog post, I am aware of my emotional body feeling vulnerable and triggered. I love how life unfolds and we learn what we need to learn and experience in Divine Right Order. As I write the words, I am watching to see how I cope with my emotions and if I am able to mother them, give them space to be and contain them. The concept is a beautiful one and yet even in mothering, sometimes we lose patience and allow our own feelings to take over.
Nurturing and taking care of our emotions is one of the most fundamental aspects of self-nurturing and self-care. As Mel Robbins says “you can’t control how you feel, but you can always control how you act.” In the space between feeling and acting, we have the ability to stop for a moment, listen to ourselves and honour what is going on. That is often what our emotions need, space to be heard and acknowledged. This is our self-care, to recognise our triggered emotion, to hold it, give it value, and then let it go before it clouds our action. This is empowering and so very important. This is Self-Care.
Now to practice…
Here is an exercise to create space between your emotions and your true, beautiful self. You will need to be in a place to sit quietly and your journal – below is an audio recording so you can listen and be present with yourself.
Sit comfortably and close your eyes. Breathe in and breathe out, focusing on your breath and allowing yourself to go deeper into being with yourself. There is nothing to do right now. As you breathe, welcome any feelings that are arising. Allow them to just be there. What are they asking for? What do they need from you to feel heard and accepted? Give them the space to be and listen with your heart, no judgement or criticism for this expression.
When you are ready, thank them for the gifts and tools they are presenting you with. Do you feel safe enough to let them go? Very gently and lovingly, as a mother nurtures her child, give yourself space to let go of what does not serve you and treasure the gifts that you identify and see. Breathe in, and breathe out and feel yourself sitting on your chair. Hear the sounds around you. Take another deep breath in, and breathe out. Move yourself in the chair. Breath in, and breath out, gently opening your eyes.
Take your journal and write down some of the lessons and gifts that came up. Honour the gifts of allowing, accepting and letting go of your emotions in a safe and self caring way.